I’ve written all about my first big sexual adventure in poetic form. For some reason I find it easier to express myself in rhyming couplets 😂. Shout-out to anyone else who can related to being an awkward sexual being.
My first
I went to my first sex party
Mission to tackle my shyness
And release my inner freak
Whether I achieved this noble aim
I’ll let you all critique
I’ll lay the facts out bare to you
Or naked, so to speak
Let me start from the beginning
Let me set the sexy scene
There’s was a huge jacuzzi
And the sofas were wipe clean
Drinking glasses were all plastic
And the floor a little sticky
A bit like Tiger Tiger Croydon
But with a lot more licky licky
(I’ll explain later)
I arrived with my two friends
Who left me at the door
I was scared to be alone
But excited to explore
A couple sauntered up to me
They were a smidgen older
I tried to act all nonchalant
Squint my eyes, so they would smoulder
The woman asked about my kink
I blanked said “I don’t know”
I was worried I’d say something random
And end up sucking her big toe
I saw that same couple later
Floating starkers in the tub
They waved at me convivially
As each other they did rub
I waved politely back
And awkwardly declined
Whilst looking for a seat
Which was difficult to find 
Why you ask, I’ll tell you why
Each surface fully covered
In bodies gyrating
And faces getting smothered
Licking seemed quite popular
Tongues lolling, genitals wet
I sat on the edge of an armchair
Next to a threesome drenched in sweat
I tried to be a voyeur
All sophisticated and cool
Which was difficult to maintain
Whilst being sprayed with specks of drool
Bartenders were weaving in and out
Collecting empty glasses
Dodging flying jets of spunk
Whilst grazing jiggling asses
Another couple sauntered up to me
And thank god, I needed saving
They said that I was looking cute
And were up for misbehaving
Things were going really well
Til’ they asked what porn I like
I mentioned feminism
Which went down like the Third Reich
Penises went all floppy
Vaginas dry as sand
I thought equal rights were hot
This has not gone as I’d planned
And so the night went on
In a very similar vein
Except I stripped down to my pants
Which was a significant gain
Also, someone touched me
Right there in the small of my back
Which I thought was an orgy invite
But was just a friendly whack
And that’s it
That’s the end of my sordid story
We’ll see what happened next time
Fingers, crossed something more whorey
(P.S I’ve reclaimed the word whore)
Want to share your story? Whether it feels big or small, putting it into words can be incredibly therapeutic. Plus, reading others’ experiences reminds us it’s never just us going through something!
